Five times Yuuri saw Viktor cry
by Ixiofim
Summary: Despite his cheerful facade, Viktor Nikiforov hadn't always had a good life.
1. Chapter 1

**__I__** ** _don't know what exactly inspired me to write this fic. I think it was that scene in Episode 11 where Viktor started crying, and I thought that he cried really prettily. This deals mostly with Viktor's background. I don't normally tend to write angsty fics, but I thought I'd give it a shot. I don't own YOI._**

* * *

 _'We'll all by cheering for you, Yuuri.'_

 _'I've made katsudon for you.'_

 _'You'll do great. i'm sure of that.'_

 _'If you ever want to quit, you can, you know. We won't think any less of you for it.'_

 _'You will do great.'_

 _'Don't worry about what we'd think. We would always support you.'_

* * *

Viktor Nikiforov sighed as he played the moments he had seen between Yuuri and his family over and over in his head. They were so loving. So kind. So supportive. They truly cared for Yuuri. Not just because of his achievements, but because they loved him. They were there for him when he achieved and they were there for him when they fucked up.

Viktor wished he had a family like that.

He thought of the orphanage in St Petersburg which was his home till he turned thirteen. he thought of the dreary grey walls. The harsh, strict caretakers. The other children who were all cold and unfriendly. His only escape was the ice skating rink nearby. He was nine when he first tried skating. He had stolen ice skates from another kid, and sneaked into the rink.

 _It wasn't easy. He kept falling over._

 _'Hey, boy.' he turned around to see a middle-aged man on skates. 'Don't you know how to skate?'_

 _'N...no.'_

 _'Is this your first time on ice?'_

 _'Y...yes.'_

 _'You seem to have quite the knack for ice-skating.'_

 _'Whaa..t? But I kept falling over.'_

 _'For someone who has never been on ice before, you have been doing admirably. If you want, I can teach you to skate.'_

 _'But you're a stranger.'_

 _'I can see your potential, boy.'_

 _'My name is Viktor.'_

 _'Yakov Feltsman.'_

Viktor had started spending every minute he could at the rink with Yakov. He sometime had to sneak out of the orphanage to do that. Many a time, he got caught and severely scolded. But they were not too concerned about his safey. They did not care.

* * *

Four years later, as he was skating, he noticed that a couple in their forties were watching him intensely. He wondered if they were skaters themselves.

That day, he was told that he was to be adopted. By that couple.

* * *

 _'Vitya! How can you sleep so peacefully after coming fourth. I am ashamed to see my son behave like this.'_

Though he referred to him as his son, his adoptive father never really regarded him as such. For his new parents, he was just a tool. A tool to regain their lost reputation as skaters.

However he performed, it was never enough for them. They did not think he was good enough. They did not think he was worthy of being their son.

 _'Vitya! You useless waste of space. We did not adopt you so that you could bring bronze medals.'_

They did not adopt because they wanted a child. What they wanted was a medal making machine.

* * *

The day he turned eighteen, Viktor packed his few belongings and left home.

 _'Yakov, can I stay with you?'_

 _'What? Where is this coming from, Vitya?'_

 _'I left home. I couldn't bear being with them anymore. Please Yakov. It wouldn't be for very long. I am looking for a suitable place for myself, and I'll move out once I find one.'_

Yakov had looked at Viktor sternly for a moment, before agreeing to let him stay with him and his then-wife Lilia.

* * *

Yakov had always been kind to Viktor despite his sternness. So had Lilia. Viktor was popular and easygoing, and he had made loads of friends among the ice-skaters, who all cared for him and were like a family for him. Yuri Plisetsky, Georgi and Mila felt like family for him, and his other skater friends including Chris, were always there to look out for him. But he felt a pang of loneliness every time he watched Yuuri with his family.

They did not treat him like a medal making machine. They did not care whether he won or lost.

Hot tears streamed from his eyes. He did not cry often, but he couldn't help it.

'V...Viktor?'

He looked up to see Yuuri. Suddenly feeling self-conscious, he wiped off his tears.

* * *

Yuuri couldn't believe it,

He had seen Viktor Nikiforov _crying._

He couldn't help notice how pretty he looked when he cried. He felt ashamed of thinking that when his idol was clearly pained. But he couldn't help it.

What had happened to him? He was normally so sunny and cheerful.

Did something happen? Was he regretting his decision to become his coach?

Yuuri couldn't help feeling strangely guilty.

* * *

 ** _I hope you liked the backstory I gave Viktor. I feel a bit guilty about making him go through so much! Do review._**


	2. Chapter 2

**_Hey, guys! Things are going to get really dark from here, so be prepared._**

 ** _Content warnings for mentions of homophobia and language._**

 ** _I don't own YOI._**

* * *

Yuuri was skating beautifully. His movements were near perfection, and he seemed to have no difficulty at all in executing his turns. He seemed to have a ridiculously high stamina.

'Viktor!How did I do?'

'You messed up the quad lutz.' Viktor said. 'But otherwise, it was perfect. He drew the younger man into an embrace.

Yuuri's body felt warm against Viktor's. Viktor couldn't help feeling a bit disappointed when he eventually let go of his embrace. He would have liked to hold on to him for a few seconds longer.

Viktor was a natural flirt, and he had assumed that Yuuri was equally flirtatious, judging by his antics during last year's banquet. However, it turned out that he was quite wrong about that. Yuuri had behaved in that manner because he was drunk. Sober Yuuri was extremely shy and idolized him. He found it irresistibly cute.

Viktor couldn't help being extremely drawn to him. It might sound cheesy, but he had not been drawn to anyone for...for a very last time. He mentally went through his list of ex-lovers, which was reasonably long, but not as long as most people believed. The one one with whom he felt anything similar to what he felt when he was with Yuuri was his first love, Mikhail.

 _It was a cold winter's night in St Petersburg. Yakov had let him off early, and so Viktor decided to attend a concert. A band which he used to love when he was younger was playing. He caught the eye of the handsome lead singer Mikhail Ivanovich. He was perhaps a year or two older than him, and he thought he caught a flash of recognition in his eyes. He supposed he was imagining it._

 _Later on, he managed to meet him. 'Viktor Nikiforov!' the singer exclaimed. 'I am a huge fan of ice-skating. And you are one of my favorites.'_

 _Viktor was stunned. Though at nineteen his achievements were considerable, he was not expecting to be recognized. Mikhail asked him out for a drink. That night, the two of them ended up in each others' arms._

 _With Mikhail, he felt an connection like never before. Lost in his arms, he felt like everything in the world was beautiful. Like he did not have to worry about anything in life._

 _He had wanted it to be that way forever._

 _Then one day, it all changed. The tabloids caught wind of their relationship. Homosexuality was still mostly taboo in Russia, and so the repurcussions were not pleasant._

 _Mikhail immediately broke it off, breaking Viktor's heart in the process. The next few days were hell for Viktor. Wherever he went, there were people staring at him, calling him names...he was glad that at least he wasn't living with his adoptive family anymore. He was sure they wouldn't approve of him dating a man. They did not approve of him dating anyone at all. They believed it would interfere with his skating._

 _He kept to himself from then, leaving his apartment only to go to the rink. Yakov and his wife Lilia -who was often there to help choreograph the routines-could not care less about his personal life, as long as it did not mess up with his skating._

 _Then one day, he found a young man about his age by the rink with Yakov and Lilia._

 _'This is Alexei Nikolaev.' Yakov said. 'He will be your rink mate from today.'_

 _'Why, Nikforov.' Alexei said. 'Aren't you the fag?'_

 _Viktor felt his blood boil in rage. 'Do not use ugly words!' Lilia screamed._

 _He turned away._

 _'Vitya!'_

 _Viktor did not turn back._

 _The next few days, he did not leave his flat. It was the first time in years he had been so long without skating._

 _Then, one day, Yakov went to him. 'Vitya.' he said. 'We sent him away. We told him to go and find another coach._

Viktor found himself getting teary-eyed as he thought about the incident.

No one cared about whom he dated now. He was _the_ Viktor Nikiforov after all. He had run into Alexei recently, and he was only too eager to kiss his ass.

But the thought of Mikhail and the fated goodbye, and the way everyone reacted...

He didn't think he would ever find someone who made his heart skip a beat the way Mikhail did. But he felt himself feeling that way for the young Japanese skater.

'Viktor.'

Yuuri couldn't help feeling sad himself. When Viktor's tears were like a sad song that made the world a little grayer.

'Viktor. Please don't cry.' Impulsively, he hugged him and wiped his tears.

This was the second time he had seen Viktor Nikiforov cry. He couldn't fathom what it was that made the normally cheerful skater so full of sadness upset. Either way, he couldn't help feeling in irresistible urge to kiss his tears away.


	3. Chapter 3

_**A big thanks to everyone who has followed, fav'd or reviewed this fic.**_

 _ **I don't own YOI.**_

* * *

' _After the finals, let's end this.'_

 _'Let's end this.'_

Yuuri did not want him anymore.

'He was probably talking just about my relationship with him as a coach. Not as his lover.' Victor tried to convince himself, looking at his ring. But he found it difficult to see the two separately. After all, Victor's coaching bought out the best of him. In a way, he became what he was because of Victor. His wanting to retire felt like a rejection of him.

Tears started flowing from Victor's eyes, much to Yuuri's shock.

* * *

'Victor?'

Victor opened his eyes, rather sleepily. He glanced at his phone to check the time. It was half past midnight. What is it, Yuuri?

Yuuri turned on the lights. 'Victor, I have something to say to you.'

'What is it, Yuuri?'

'I...I am sorry I hurt you.'

'What are you talking about?'

'I made you cry today. I am sorry.'

'It's okay.'

'Victor.' Yuuri hugged the Russian, and kissed him on his cheek. 'Victor, whatever happens, I...you taught me the meaning of love. I will always love you.'

Victor was flabbergasted. 'What did you say?'

'I said I love you, Victor.' Much to his surprise, the normally timid Yuuri took the initiative to kiss him on the lips.

'Mmmm...Yuuri.' Yuuri's lips were soft and pliant, and wonderful. The intensity of the kiss grew, and soon Victor was tugging at Yuuri's nightclothes.

'Let me.' Yuuri said, his eyes flashing with pure Eros. He softly yet seductively took them off.

Victor scanned Yuuri's body from top to toe. He had seen the other man nude many times before while bathing in the onsen, but he never looked as tempting as was now.

'Take this off, Victor.' said Yuuri, tugging at the waistband of Victor's shorts. Victor sighed. 'I can't, Yuuri.'

Victor wanted to. very much. But he was a coach. He had been fallible and committed several mistakes during his short time as a coach. But this was one time he couldn't act irresponsibly.

'Yuuri, you have your final Skate in the Grand Prix tomorrow. We shouldn't be doing this the night before. It would only be a distraction.'

'Of course.' Yuuri said. Blushing, he put on his clothes.

'Yuuri.'

'Yes?'

'Yuuri, about your retirement...'

'Victor, I...'

'How about we give it some time? Let's discuss it after the final.'

Yuuri nodded, and fell face first onto the bed.

* * *

Victor wanted to lie next to him and cuddle him. But he knew that would not be a good idea at the moment. He tiptoed to the couch and lay there.

They had pushed their beds together after they had exchanged the rings, and normally slept together. But not tonight.

Yuuri sighed. He knew what Victor said made sense, but in his hearts of hearts, he was hoping Victor would be his first. He knew it was probably a goodbye if he retired.

Sighing, he took off his ring and kept it on the window sill.

Yuuri decided to wear his ring after all. It worked as a lucky charm. Whether or not it lasted, what he had with Victor was extremely special. He wanted to show it off during the skate.


	4. Chapter 4

**_This time, I don't really feel like bothering with an intro. I own nothing._**

* * *

'Yuuri, you're putting on weight. You shouldn't eat so many pork cutlet bowls.'

'Oh, stop it, Viktor.'

'Yuuri, this is for your own good. I'm your coach, aren't I? I am saying this for your own good.'

'Really?' Yuuri put his hands around Viktor's waist and looked at him seductively. But Viktor was not in the mood for any of that. 'Yuuri, i'm your coach right now. Not your lover.'

'A conflict of interest?' Yuuri teased.

'Yuuri!'

An expression of hurt crossed Viktor's face. 'If you can't handle my being both your coach and your lover, then perhaps I should stop being your lover.'

'Perhaps you should!' retorted Yuuri.

* * *

Viktor couldn't fathom what had gotten into him when he said those harsh words to Yuuri.

He supposed he just wasn't in a good mood. The two of them had just flown from St Petersburg to Hasetsu to visit Yuuri's family. He had gotten very little sleep and was suffering from jet lag.

But it was still unfair. What had got into him that he took it out on cute little Yuuri?

He did not really mean it when he said they'd better break up.

Did Yuuri think he did?

* * *

Viktor spent the whole day holed up in the room he had stayed in when he first came to Hasetsu. He had not thought he'd ever have to stay in that room again.

He sat twiddling his thumbs, trying to pick up enough courage to talk to Yuuri.

After hours of procrastination, Viktor finally went up to Yuuri's room. He was about to knock when he noticed the door was ajar. He peeped through the gap, and was shocked to see that Yuuri was not alone.

A pretty Japanese girl sat next to him and lay her head on his shoulder. The two of them seemed to be quite absorbed in each other as they chatted.

* * *

Yuuri's parents and sister were at the hot springs dealing with some business matters. The girl with Yuuri seemed to have already left, so it was just the two of them on the dinner table.

Viktor couldn't help stealing gazes at his lover, no, ex lover. He looked as beautiful as ever.

'Yuuri.' a cry escaped from Viktor's lips, as he found himself choking in tears.

He thought he had finally found love. And happiness. That he couldn't possibly want anything more from life. Then, this happened.

'Viktor!' Yuuri looked at him, shocked. 'Viktor, what is it?' He hugged the older man, and kissed him. He was surprised when he was pushed away by him.

'Yuuri, now that we're not together, you we can't do this anymore.'

'Not together?' Viktor looked confused. 'What do you mean?'

'We had that fight in the morning, didn't we?' It was Viktor's turn to be confused.

'Yeah, but...I thought...you weren't serious about ending it with me, were you?'

'No, but...but what about that girl, Yuuri?'

'Girl?' Yuuri looked puzzled. 'Oh, you mean Hinata?'

'Hinata? Your cousin from Tokyo?' It was Viktor's turn to look flabbergasted.

'Viktor, did you seriously think there was something between us? She's my cousin. She and her family used to live in Hasetsu, but they moved to Tokyo a long time ago. Though we've met only a few times since then, we had always been close. She's like a sister to me.

Viktor looked embarrassed. Yuuri had told him about Hinata before, but that moment, he did not give a thought before making assumptions.

'She had been thinking of taking up ice-skating. She came to talk to me about that. So, we're good?'

Wordlessly, Viktor kissed him.

* * *

'Yuuri.' Viktor said, taking the younger man in his arms. 'Marry me.'

'Where is this coming from, Viktor? I haven't won a Grand Prix gold medal yet.'

'I don't care about that.' Viktor said. 'Well, I actually do, but I want you to be mine. It does not matter if you win zero medals or a hundred. I'd want you the same.

'Okay.' Yuuri said. With a mischievous glint in his eyes, he said 'I'll think about it.'

'What?'

'Let's see, Viktor Nikiforov.'

'Please, my sweet Yuuri.' he gave the heart shaped smile that made him melt.

'I'll think about it.' He winked.


	5. Chapter 5

**_Okay, I really need to study for my exams, but Viktor and Yuuri aren't letting me!_**

 ** _So, this is the last chapter of the fic. I hop you liked it._**

 ** _A big thanks to everyone who has reviewed, followed or faved this._**

* * *

Sheer joy filled Yuuri, as he and his beloved were pronounced man and husband in the presence of all the people who completed their lives. Phichit, Chris and Otabek cheered when they kissed for the first time as a married couple. Yurio tried to put on a facade of indifference, but everyone was aware he was actually really happy for them. J.J was also a bit salty. He felt that our wedding totally overshadowed his, which had taken place a week ago. His wife, Isabella seemed really happy for them though. Yuuri's family, the Nishigoris and Minako-sensei were ecstatic, and even Celestino, Yakov and Lilia appeared really excited. Yuuri also spotted Georgi, Michele, Sara, Mila, Guang Hong, Seung Gil, Emil and Leo among the spectators.

The only people on the guest list who did not turn up were Viktor's adoptive parents. Though he did not care for them, Viktor still felt obliged to invite them. Yuuri was secretly really glad when he noticed they didn't arrive.

Viktor's lips felt firm and soft at the same time, and Yuuri wanted to never let go. The two of them looked like they had switched nationalities, with Yuuri in a suit and Viktor in a kimono. Yuuri smiled as he thought about how it came to be.

* * *

 _'Yuuri, look at that one!'_

 _After Yuuri won gold in the Grand Prix, they were busy planning their wedding. They had decided to pay tribute to both their countries by incorporating both cultures in their wedding. So, Viktor was to wear a suit and Yuuri a kimono._

 _The kimono Viktor was pointing at was indeed beautiful. 'It will be perfect!' Viktor said, kissing his fiance on the cheek. 'You'll look so handsome in it!'_

 _Yuuri went over to take a closer look. 'Forget it, Viktor. It is not my size.'_

 _Viktor examined it closely and pouted when he realized Yuuri was right. ' I guess it would fit me, though.'_

 _'Yeah it would. But you can't wear it, Viktor. You are wearing a suit.'_

 _'I want to try it.' Viktor said._

 _Yuuri had to admit Viktor looked really sexy in the kimono._

 _'I am wearing this.' Viktor said._

 _'You're not, Viktor.'_

 _'I am, Yuuri.' he said, hugging him playfully._

 _'Then who will wear that expensive suit you bought?'_

 _'You will, my sweet Yuuri.'_

 _'Huh? Me?'_

 _'We'll get it fitted for you.'_

* * *

'Yay! Yuuri and Viktor finally got married!' Phichit exclaimed. Then much to their surprise, Yurio went up to Viktor and embraced him warmly. He then hugged Yuuri. ''You better treat piggy well.' he told Viktor. Viktor smiled and gave Yuuri's hand a squeeze. Yurio made a face. 'Just because I low key ship you guys doesn't mean I enjoy watching you guys act all lovey dovey.'

When Makkachin went up to the newly-wed couple, Yuuri threw his arms around him. 'Now, you are my dog too, Makka.' he said. makkachin licked his face.

'Vitya.' Viktor turned around to see Yakov looking at him with an almost fatherly pride. 'I am so proud of you. And I'm warning you, Vitya. You better treat him right.

'Of course, Yakov.' Viktor said, embracing his coach. 'There's one more wedding coming up.' Yakov said.

'What!'

'Yakov and I are getting remarried.' Lilia said, joining them. She took Yakov's hand.

'Yay!' Viktor said, flashing the cute heart shaped smile of his that made Yuuri want to kiss him again.

* * *

Yuuri was shocked to see the tears in Viktor's eyes. Almost everyone had left, and they were alone.

'What happened, Vitya? Why are you crying?'

'I am so happy for us. I am crying out of happiness.'

Much to Viktor's surprise, Yuuri burst out laughing. 'What' so funny?'

'This is just so unlike you, Viktor.' Yuuri said hugging him.

'Ya lyublyu tebya.' Yuuri told Viktor he loved him in Russian.

'My, my. Katsuki Yuuri, you are quite turning into a Russian gentleman.'

Yuuri laughed. 'C'mon, Viktor. Tell me that you love me in Japanese.'

Viktor thought for a moment. 'I forgot, actually.'

Yuuri pouted. 'How careless you are, Viktor.'

'That's true. I am a careless man. But I am a lucky careless man, Yuuri, to have you.'

'That's so corny.'

'I know. But you make me that way.'

* * *

 ** _So, that's it. Do tell me what you think of this fic._**


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